Finding my new normal.

What is 'normal'? I'm positive that it is a word that should not exist. Here is what Google had to say about what normal meant:
(n) the usual, average, or typical state or condition.

(adj) conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.

My normal 4 months ago was Mom/Dad working, loving, active parents. Kaed and B went to school and babysitter during the day, played with Mom and Dad at night. Fast forward to today and it looks a little like this Dad works, Mom stays home with kids.... ahhhhh!!!! Now, Kaed is 7 and Bailey will be 5 in just a few short weeks, they aren't new borns who require around the clock attention, so it isn't horrible but it's a change! Definitely not falling into either of the definitions above. 

I have always been the 'Super Mom' = in graduate school, in work full time, having two kids in activities running them around and trying to be a good housekeeper. (The later of which usually suffered the most!) And now, I've graduated my Master's program, I had to quit my job and move across the country for my husband's career, and now take care of the kids and house. I love my kids, but being stuck in a tiny, two bedroom apartment, with no TV, video games, internet, or separate space... you see where I'm going. 90% of the time, they don't even need me. Playing games, reading books, coloring pictures for their friends and wrestling keeps them pretty occupied; not to mention hours on end at the pool! I'm here to cook lunch and referee - which happens toooooo often.

But, I'm struggling. The most challenging thing on a day to day basis is 'what are we going to eat today?' Most days, I cook lunch and dinner and have it waiting for my husband when he walks in the door from work - who am I? It's definitely a change that I'm taking on and 5 days in, I'm doing okay. But, I'm looking forward to something coming along to mentally push me again. Volunteering, school work, and work - all that I'm seeking to keep me engaged. 

So, regardless of how bored I am at home, how many books I'm reading or how many times I make Mac 'n Cheese, I'm trying to settle into my new normal of being the best mom and wife. Phew - it's a lot of work! 

SOLD!

When your husband takes a new job in Iowa, and you want to move back to the Midwest, the plan typically involves putting your house on the market and ultimately selling. Well, then why is it so hard to sell our house?! Not the act of selling, but that of someone else buying it and we have to leave? Emotionally, I'm torn. Of course I want to be closer to family, but I have enjoyed our little family of four discovering new things, activities and experiences as the Four, I don't want that to stop. I'm sorry if I'm being selfish for wanting it to be just is four, for all of my children's lives, they've been passed around and shred with grandparents from weekend to weekend - I don't want to go back to that. So I'm not "sold" on moving back, yet. 

Anyway, in reference to the house - it's sold. And I'm very proud of me and Britt (Britt and I - whatever) we made a very smart, financial decision in buying when we did and then selling when we did.  Before the market got moving and just before I believe our market reaches the top! Yay! We won our first real estate battle!

Now comes a new battle, moving our life 16 hours, in four different times. Here is how the move broke down for us.

• April 18 - Britt took off on the 16 hour drive from Lehi, UT to West Des Moines, IA. Alone. 
• June 1 - Bailey flew back with my mom who had been in town visiting and watching the kids' dance recital.
• June 21 - Kaeden, Russell and I drove 6 hours to meet Britt and Bailey in Laramie, WY to do the trade off. This was soooo hard. I drove back to SLC without anyone in the car with me, my entire heart drove off in the opposite way. :(
• July 16 - I finally made the departure for 'home'. It was hard. It was sad. It was bittersweet.

But it made it easier for me knowing that my kiddos were being well taken care of. They were riding horses and fourwheelers, camping, fishing, and boating with family! No way were they going to be excited once I go there!

I was leaving behind our first home. I was leaving behind some really amazing people that were such a big part of my heart. But it was nice knowing that I was going to my whole heart, my home, my loves in Iowa.

...tbc.